The definition
What is a pant?
For operational purposes, I have been forced to establish a definition. It has consumed more thought than anyone anticipated.
pants (n., pl.) · /pants/
A garment worn below the waist that extends below the knee.
As used by I Wash Pants for the purpose of deciding what goes in the machine.
If it covers your lower half and continues below your knee, there's a strong chance I'm willing to wash it.
Shorts are not pants.
Underwear is absolutely not pants.
This is not negotiable.
The two tests
The waist test. The garment is worn from the waist down. A garment that begins at the shoulders is, at best, a jumpsuit, and jumpsuits are still under review.
The knee test. Stand up straight. If the hem finishes below your knee, the garment passes. If it finishes at or above your knee, it is shorts, however long and however confidently marketed.
Both tests must be passed. There is no partial credit. I've been asked.
Accepted
Pants I will wash
- Jeans
- Chinos
- Dress pants
- Slacks
- Sweatpants
- Joggers
- Leggings
- Work pants
- Cargo pants
- Overalls
- Specialty pants
- Costume pants
- Dry-clean-only pants
- Expensive pants
- Cheap pants
- Pants you probably should have washed three weeks ago
Case law
Rulings on the edge cases
People have asked. These are the decisions.
| Garment | Ruling | Reasoning |
|---|---|---|
| Jeans | Pants | The reason this company exists. |
| Dress pants, slacks, trousers | Pants | Formal pants are still pants. |
| Leggings | Pants | Below the waist, below the knee. It holds up. |
| Pajama pants | Pants | Pants you sleep in remain pants. |
| Overalls | Pants | The bib comes along. I’m not separating them. |
| Capris | Pants | They end below the knee. Barely. It counts. |
| Culottes | Pants | If they pass the knee. Wide legs are still legs. |
| Scrub pants | Pants | Unless contaminated from a clinical setting. |
| Snow and ski pants | Pants, probably | Depends on the label and any waterproof coating. |
| Jumpsuits | Under review | The legs qualify. The top half is a shirt. Deliberations continue. |
| Waders | Contact me first | They extend below the knee to an extreme degree. |
| Knee-length shorts | Not pants | Reaching the knee is not extending below it. |
| Bermuda shorts | Not pants | It’s in the name. |
| Swim trunks | Not pants | Shorts, but wet. |
| Skirts, dresses, kilts | Not pants | Respectable garments. No legs. Respectfully, no. |
| Tights and hosiery | Not pants | Too close to underwear for comfort. |
| Long underwear, thermals | Not pants | Underwear. It’s in the name, again. |
| Chaps | Not pants | No seat. Worn around the legs more than on them. |
Not on the list? Ask. New rulings are issued as needed, usually after a long pause.
Why a definition was necessary
A company that only washes pants has to know what pants are. That seemed obvious until the first conversation about capris.
There is also a practical reason. Pants are a consistent kind of load. They have similar weights, similar fabrics and similar problems, which is what lets me price them simply and handle them carefully. The moment a business starts saying "and also shirts," it becomes a regular laundry service. There are plenty of those. They're fine. This is not one.
Own qualifying pants?
Then I’d like to hear about them. It takes two minutes.